Loneliness Around the Holidays was the focus of our Between Us Women’s meeting on November 19, 2025. The conversation was honest, thoughtful, and eye-opening. While loneliness is not limited to the holiday season, there is strong evidence that it increases during this time of year.
Loneliness is a psychological experience. It is not simply about being alone. It is about feeling disconnected from the people and the world around you. During the holidays, that sense of disconnection can feel even sharper. The commercialism of the season and the ideal image of perfect families and perfect relationships are everywhere. When your life does not match that picture, loneliness can feel unavoidable.
Grief and the Holiday Season
For many people, the holidays are deeply connected to grief. Some have lost loved ones. Some are dealing with broken relationships or broken hearts. During the Christmas season, a favorite tradition is watching Hallmark movies. In those movies, everyone falls in love, and everything turns out perfectly. That image reinforces what many of us were taught to expect from the holidays, especially in our culture. But real life often looks very different.
Loneliness Versus Isolation
It is important to understand the difference between loneliness and isolation. Isolation is a physical experience. It means you truly are not around people or do not have access to a connection. We saw this clearly during the pandemic, especially among seniors. Because they were most vulnerable to COVID, many did not see their children or grandchildren for long periods of time.
Loneliness, on the other hand, is an emotional state. You can be in a crowd and still feel lonely. Emotions are never black-and-white, and the human experience is filled with nuance. Loneliness is not just about being physically separated from people. It is about feeling a lack of meaningful connection.
An Epidemic of Loneliness
If we took a snapshot of adults in the United States today, about 60 percent would say they feel lonely. That is an epidemic-level number. A survey conducted by the Surgeon General divided adults into four age groups: 18 to 29, 30 to 44, 45 to 64, and 65 and older.
Surprisingly, the group with the highest levels of loneliness was the youngest.
Many young adults are constantly busy with work, activities, sports, and social events. Yet there is often very little true connection. You can be in a room full of people and still feel deeply alone.
The Social Media Divide
Ironically, social media is called social media because, in many ways, it has become one of the greatest sources of isolation. People spend hours connected to their phones and computers in an artificial social environment that does not always foster real connections.
Some years ago, one of the recurring conversations among the child study team was how important it was to create opportunities during the school day where students, especially preteens and teens, were required to interact face-to-face. Many young people were becoming asocial, meaning they were losing social skills or simply had no reason to use them.
Grief, Loss, and Disconnection
Loneliness is often tied to grief. Grief creates a sense of disconnection from the world. When Thanksgiving or Christmas approaches and a loved one is no longer there, the absence can feel overwhelming. Someone lost her husband in June, and the holidays now carry a very different weight for her.
These experiences raise an important question: What coping strategies can help those who are feeling lonely during the holidays?
It is also important to remember that loneliness is not always tied to missing one specific person. You can be surrounded by people in many spaces and still feel completely alone.
A Biblical Perspective on Loneliness
One powerful passage that speaks to loneliness comes from the Psalms. King David prays, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.”
This scripture captures many of the reasons people feel lonely: pain, distress, grief, and feeling overwhelmed. Loneliness is not new, and it is not something to be ashamed of.
Generational Differences in Connection
A speaker shared that many young men, aged 24 and under, have never asked a woman out on a date in person. Dating apps have become the norm. An entire generation has missed the experience of walking up to someone, rehearsing what to say, risking rejection, and learning how to connect through real interaction.
This helps explain why older adults are often the least lonely group, which may seem surprising. While they may face health challenges or the loss of friends, they know how to build and maintain connections. They go to church, join groups, and stay engaged because they have practiced connection their entire lives.
Reaching Out Matters
One of the most meaningful things we can do is reach out to those who are experiencing loneliness. Let them know they are seen. Sit with them. Listen. Be willing to help in whatever way you can.
Sometimes, a simple act of connection can make all the difference, especially during the holidays.